My goal was to not visit the emergency room this year… FAIL.
(the following entry is not suitable for the sensitive minded)
If you are a guy, imagine the pain and nausea when kicked in the testicles… but it doesn’t go away
First, I was constipated even though I’ve been having I was having lower abdominal pain and sharp pains through the rectum like I was going to give birth through my ass or something. It was so painful that I had to grab on to something. Then I had what I like to call “fart constipation” where I have intense pressure and gas but can’t pass it. Not painful, but really uncomfortable. The next day, the rectal pain seemed to go away but I still had the lower abdominal pain. I had to hunch over while walking because it felt better that way. I also had diarrhea, which I never get unless I have food poisoning. I thought that there was something wrong with my appendix but supposedly that’s not an issue. I had urine, blood, and cervix tests done but I guess everything seemed normal. The doctor was actually going to send me home but I persuaded him that there had to be an answer for my pain. So, he had me get an ultrasound and they found out that I have some ovarian cysts that ruptured and there was moderate internal bleeding. First they use this instrument like those things you see being used on pregnant women. When the sonographer found out I had cysts, she used this dildo thing (lol!) to take a closer look. The ER doctor told me that the blood probably irritated my other organs, which is why I’ve been having those other issues.
I guess it’s non life threatening and no emergency surgery is needed, so I was sent home. The doctor prescribed me some Vicodin. I’m supposed to see the OB/GYN for followups… or whatever. It feels like I’m going through menopause or something. I’m having hot flashes!
I’ve been spending the last week just laying down and watching Rocko’s Modern Life and the Simpsons on the internet. What was funny was that I was watching this episode of The Simpsons and Bart was coming up with a ton of excuses to avoid taking a test. He said, “Oh! My ovaries!”. I laughed so hard but it also hurt doing so!
This sucks man. I feel more pain knowing that something inside me ruptured and I have internal bleeding. That’s what psychology will do to ya!